Time and time again, it comes down to this simple point. The more I get it, the more you get it. The more we collectively understands this – the more enlightened our society becomes. So what am I talking about? Well, lets start off by asking a simple question. If you don’t feel like you are #1, why should anyone else? And the more important question is: who can make you feel #1?
Only one true answer exists: yourself. Only you have the power to Love yourself completely. Even if others love you without condition… if you do not also fully love yourself to the same degree, then it simply falls to the wayside and is lost to one’s inability to receive it. Sometimes the simplest lessons are the hardest to grasp… especially when we tend to externalize so many things. It really can be hard to see that, if we feel no one loves us, it is simply because we are not loving ourselves.
So what does it mean to love myself? Honestly – it means that I take responsibility for my own feelings. So often we blame our feelings on others. She approached me already angry… he yelled at me first… she didn’t smile when she saw me… all these examples place the power in someone else’s hands. in reality, no one has this power over your feelings unless you give it to them. It’s not something that can be taken from you – you literally have the choice to experience things how you want, in every Now. I have the choice to be happy, to be Love – and I have the choice to view it otherwise.
One of the primary mechanisms for the “otherwise”, are our thoughts… and sometimes we let them run and run and run. When I realized that our “thoughts” are what pull us away from being fully Present, I became Present to the fact that in every Now I can choose how I will move forward in any given situation. I realized that any time I am feeling ‘bad’, those bad feelings are being generated by thoughts (I choose to have.) I then realized that every good feeling is actually a positive emotion that is fully seated and being expressed (by my choice) in the Present moment. Why would I ever choose to feel bad instead of good?
That is a tricky one, because our mind gives us lots of reasons to do this. The main reason is because our ‘mind’ wants to occupy our Now at the expense of our Consciousness/Presence. In every moment we have a choice – to be Present/Conscious or to Allow our mind to occupy that time. When our mind is running we are choosing to be less Aware of what is happening in front of us and more focused on our thoughts. These thoughts pull us out of the NOW and put us into the past or future. Only in Truth, these thoughts fail to actually put us back into the past, nor do they produce a future for us within that moment… so why do we choose that again?
Ah yes, because the mind is tricky. It literally lies all the time – covered in Truth. One funny thing about the mind is that I have had thoughts about how bad thoughts can be. It’s Always funny to me when I am “thinking” about thinking… or “thinking” about how I should stop thinking. It’s like… my mind knows I want to shut it down, so I talk to myself (which should read “think”) about how I shouldn’t be thinking. Its ridiculous. Of course, as soon as I realize this – I laugh to myself and simply focus on the real-Life things happening all around me… and if nothing else, I bring it back to my breath. My breath is very real, Always happening, and Allows me to connect Source, my Highest Self, and to become completely Present with this Now – the Present time.
So, back on topic: I am responsible for my own feelings. I must Love myself before I will be ready to truly receive Love from others. By making myself #1 priority in my Life, I am actually Being the best I can be for myself and everyone. I cannot be #1 for others if I am not #1 to myself (same as I cannot receive Love from others fully, if I do not fully Love myself.)
So what does this mean exactly? Simply, I must do the things I need to do to be healthy, happy, and fun to be around. It is also the same thing I like to see in others – I want to be around people who are healthy, happy, and fun to be around. This means I cannot go work out just because my girlfriend wants me too… if I did, I’d be doing that for someone else – which also means, I would not be doing it for myself – and even simpler, I would not be BEing myself. I would be giving responsibility of my health over to someone else, and I would probably be building an expectation that this person would do the same for me if they Loved me the same that I Love them. We are placing ourselves in a dangerous position when we do this – we begin making attachments to the “sacrifices” and things we are doing for others, and we may begin to get resentful if they are not reciprocated or even if we just get tired of doing something for someone else or for not being ourselves. If I am not making sure I am happy/healthy/fun, then I am creating blockages to receive seeing others in that Light too.
However, when I am making sure my own personal needs are met, and that I am doing the things I like to do, that I am Loving and nurturing my own BEing… then I am happy, healthy, and fun to be around (I like being around myself when im like this!) I enjoy sharing my health, happiness, and free time doing things I enjoy, by myself or with others. Others are drawn to me and are excited to be around me because I am deciding to be excited and fun. People seriously draw to themselves, who they ARE and how they view things. We all really DO create our realities, in every given moment, by what we focus on and if we are giving ourselves Unconditional Love and meeting our own needs.
At every given moment we have a choice to focus on fear, lack, guilt, jealousy… or Love, Abundance, Integrity, and Empowerment. Each side has a million dualistic qualities we can choose from. Knowing Now that the top of the duality chain is Love and Fear… I choose Love, Always and in All Ways. Keep it sacred. Our relationship with our self is #1. Making the personal choice to choose what is best for me, Love, is Always going to keep me in Alignment with my Highest Purpose and my Highest Good. Fear, lack, density – these choices never feel good – and Now that I realize they are Always a choice, and that when I have felt them the many times in my past, that I choose those thoughts. I choose them so I could learn, so they Always serve a positive purpose, as long as we grow from them.
But Now that I know… the choice is clear. Love conquers All. The healing vibration of Love is an unstoppable force. When I choose to Love myself, in every moment, I choose to share that Love outward – in every experience. Someone cut me off at the stop light, I feel compassionate they are putting themselves through being in a hurry and being frustrated. I missed the 2:10 bus, I ask the Universe what it has planned for me that I would miss my ride. I CHOOSE not to be upset any longer. I look for the positive in every Now, because the Universe is conspiring for my best interest – if I only look at it that way.
I have not mastered this completely – there are times when the trials are exceptionally hard, and the energy I perceive wants me to lash out and re-act to it… however, when I hold my ground, take a few deep breaths, and ponder what is good. I see Light shining through – because I have the choice. I know only I can truly take care of me, and I know if I were to ‘think’ about it long enough, my mind would give me all kinds of reasons to feed into the negativity. However, Love feels good, Always in All Ways, and it prevails EVERY time. So I choose that!